Family Child Care Homes

Question: Ever since I had my first child, I’ve been taking care of my kids and some friends’ kids while they are at work. I’m a stay-at-home mom with a big basement and fenced yard, and I love having babies around. I’ve actually had a number of other friends ask if I can take their kids too. I’ve thought about opening a real center in my home, but that seems like a huge undertaking. Is there something in the middle I can do?

Answer: The arrangement you’re describing is what we call family/friend/neighbor care – informal child care arrangements where an unlicensed caregiver takes in the children of people they know. It’s actually pretty common in Buncombe County, because, as you are undoubtedly aware, there is a critical shortage of child care spots available, especially for infants and toddlers.

Turning your informal arrangement into licensed family child care home can seem daunting at first, but there are many, many benefits to both you and the community. First of all, if you keep more than 2 children who are not related to you for more than 4 hours a day, you legally must be licensed under North Carolina law. This does mean some paperwork and regulations, depending on how many children you want to care for, their ages, and the current specifications of your house and yard. 

But, getting licensed allows you to care for more children, often at higher rates, leading to more income. You can also claim your house and property (as well as any renovations you may need to make) as business expenses on your taxes, giving you a higher profit margin. Enrolling in the federal lunch program can also save you lots of money if you want to provide meals. And creating more slots for quality child care is something that can help everyone in Buncombe County.

A good first step is to come to our Family Child Care Home Q&A on March 14th from 6:00-7:00. There will be experienced Family Child Care Home providers and licensing consultants to answer your questions and help get your process started. You can register at this link, or call 407.2058:

Inclusion and Special Needs

Special Needs & Inclusion – February 13th, 2017

Question: It seems like every year I have more kids with “special needs” in my room. They can be really hard to deal with, and I’m not a specialist in all their different disorders. The other kids don’t get to do all the interesting things I used to do as a teacher because I’m spending so much time and energy on a few kids, and we can’t even have all the materials I used to have. I want ALL children to have a good preschool experience, and this seems impossible right now. Is there anything I can do about this?

Answer: Many teachers report having more children with diagnoses or learning differences than they used to, and while the jury is still out as to why that is – changing diagnostics, or changes in the environment that are causing more issues – teachers are trusted to provide the best early learning experience they can to all children they have.

If you feel like you’re not equipped to handle the needs of children in your care, the first step is to be proactive and educate yourself. There are literally hundreds of books and other resources that can help you get a better handle on a particular diagnosis. You can even start by googling “best practices early childhood autism,” or “cerebral palsy early childhood” to get some starting points. It’s likely that you can find local or online trainings to take.

If that seems too overwhelming, any child with an IEP or IFSP has specialists (sometimes a team of them) that can be great resources. Schedule a time to talk in person or over the phone outside the chaos of the classroom, and explain that you need some concrete tips that will help you support this child. After all, 10 children with the same diagnosis can all have very different needs and abilities. It’s most important to focus on the one right in front of you.

Having children with a wide range of needs and abilities – inclusion – can be tricky, especially at first. Rather than focusing on what you “can’t” do with your class, however, get creative to figure out how you can make experiences work for everyone. For example, if you have a child who tries to eat paint or playdough every time it’s available, don’t use that as a reason to never do paint or playdough. You may need to carefully design those experiences, so that a teacher can sit with the eater and give one-on-one attention. If the child is receiving services or therapy in the classroom (which is considered best practice), talk to the child’s therapist(s) and see if painting or playdough would be appropriate activities to have open while the therapist is there.  Sometimes children with special needs qualify for a one-on-one at least part of the day to help with supervision and more intensive work.

But the goal here isn’t to isolate the child with a one-on-one or other adult. The goal of inclusion is to recognize all children as valuable members of the classroom community, to inspire a spirit of belonging that extends to everyone, whether a child has a disability, or is just extremely shy and lacks social skills. Start from a place where you, as the teacher, recognize every child’s intrinsic gifts and challenges. Yes, of course some children fit more easily in the classroom environment, but all children do grow, progress, and learn, each in their own ways. What a good day looks like for one child – learning to write her name, for example – can look very different for another child, who finally said her first words, but both are experiencing meaningful growth.

Provide opportunities for children with disabilities to engage in structured, special activities with another child or two who may be a good fit because of energy level, temperament, or interests. Find ways for children with disabilities to be in leadership roles, too, whether it’s helping the teacher by carrying things, pointing to images while singing or reading, or asking them to show the rest of the class how they do something special. It’s never too early to start a conversation in response to the questions children will naturally have about why one child cannot yet walk, or talks strangely, or acts unpredictably. Emphasizing to your class that we all learn differently, and we care about and help all our friends equally is something even young children understand. It may take a little more work, especially at the beginning, but the benefits of inclusion for children with special needs are tremendous, as are the benefits for typically developing children who will learn how to interact with and have empathy for people different from themselves.

Keep in mind too that building this awareness in young children can go a long way in changing how society treats people with all types of difference. Not so long ago, children who were deaf, for example, were considered unteachable and institutionalized. Having children with any type of disability or difference was viewed as shameful, and the children were often taken from their families. It is a long, ongoing battle for parents of children with special needs to make sure their educational rights are honored under the law. Typically developing or otherwise, no one really knows the capacity and potential of a child until she is in an environment that can help her grow.

The Art of Art

Question: My consultants keep talking about “child-directed art” and how I don’t have enough of it to satisfy ECERS requirements. What exactly is the difference between “child-directed” and “teacher-directed” art?

Answer: That’s a topic that often confuses teachers, because it can seem so subjective. Here are some guidelines and examples that might help you:

Generally, child-directed art refers to an art activity where children get to choose the materials and how they use them.  This doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all of toddlers marking up the walls, of course. It might, though, look something like this:

  • Giving 3-year-olds pieces of paper and being allowed to choose their colors and paint with brushes or hands as they see fit.
  • Giving 4-year-olds a pile of magazines, sequins, paper scraps, and old buttons, along with some glue and scissors, and the freedom to create whatever they want.
  • Offering cotton balls, white paint, glitter, or some combination, and inviting children to “make snow.”

These experiences are offered with close supervision, of course, both for safety and for encouraging language development, planning, and thoughtful expression. The key piece is to not overly direct what they choose to do.


What child-directed art DOES NOT look like:

  • a teacher dabbing glue on some paper and directing a child where to put three cotton balls to “make a snowman.”
  • giving children worksheets or coloring book pages.
  • pressing their hands in paint and then on a paper and telling them to go wash.

Granted, teacher-directed art projects like these can be very cute, and parents love them, but they don’t give children a chance to learn through exploring or expressing themselves creatively.  Some teachers limit teacher-directed art to special occasions like holidays in order to make gifts for parents, and then focus on child-directed art the rest of the time.

Child-directed art benefits children in many ways, the biggest of which is often simply motivation: children enjoy the chance to make their own decisions and explore materials freely much more than they enjoy following step-by-step adult directions, and they can take more pride and ownership in their finished products as well. This enjoyment motivates them to spend more time developing the creativity, attention span, and fine-motor skills that art experiences help build.


Down in the Dumps

Down in the Dumps – February 3rd, 2017

Question: My center is going through rating scales, and my consultant keeps talking to me about how I need more materials in my 2-year-old room. I’ve tried to give my kids more things to play with, but they just dump everything out or break things and lose the pieces. Can I just get what I need and put it out when the window opens?

Answer: Anyone who has worked with toddlers or 2s knows they are exuberant dumpers, and don’t always know how to treat toys appropriately. Many teachers handle this the way you have – by limiting the materials kids have access to. Unfortunately, giving children a bunch of new materials right before an ITERS assessment to meet the requirements is a recipe for disaster. Raters can tell if children don’t typically have access to materials: they tend to mob anything new, fight over it, and they clearly don’t understand how to use it. Chaos quickly descends, which opens up other rating issues related to discipline and teacher interactions.

Your better bet is to do everything you can to actively TEACH your kids how to play appropriately, regardless of ITERS. That means sitting with them on the floor, modeling appropriate use of, say, blocks, by building, talking about what you’re doing, and encouraging them to try things out. If children are using materials in a way that’s dangerous – such as hitting with the blocks – it’s okay to put them up for a little while or to remove the child to a different center for a short period to help convey that this behavior is not safe. But it’s equally important to let them try again as soon as possible, and reinforce appropriate behavior with lots of praise and attention.

Also, remember that 2s at the beginning of the year are different animals than by the end of the year, and different materials are often needed as their abilities and interests shift, so you don’t need to have all possible materials out all the time. In fact, it’s often best to rotate toys in order to provide some novelty and to observe how they interact with materials differently as they grow.

Another piece of the puzzle here is that even though you can’t expect 2s to know how to clean up after themselves, you can start guiding them in that direction by using buckets or bins that are clearly labeled with pictures of what’s inside them, and identical pictures on the shelf. Showing them these pictures – and a lot of repetition — helps them begin to understand the idea of what goes where. Giving them very specific tasks at clean up time can help build these skills – not “everyone clean up!” but “Chloe, can you please help me put these potato heads into this bucket.” Arranging your shelves and furniture so there are clear boundaries and centers can also help contain the mess, as children often will tend to run or roam more in wide-open spaces.

It’s a natural part of children’s development that they love to dump, and that can create a stressful situation for teachers. Sometimes it helps to give children an appropriate outlet for this interest, such as providing purses and shopping bags they can put things in and carry around, or big plastic pitchers and bowls they can use to pour things back and forth. Actively playing with them can give them new, more interesting alternatives, too.

You might find that the more children have to play with, and the more time you spend interacting with them around their play, the fewer behavioral problems there will be. Boredom can spell disaster for a room full of 2s, but children with enough to do to engage their interest are usually too busy to get up to much trouble.

Why Ask Why?

Why Ask Why? – February 8th, 2017

Question: I’m a pre-K teacher, and my director keeps telling me I need to “interact more” and “talk more” with my kids. I love my class, but I really don’t feel like I need to constantly be interrupting them, as long as they’re behaving. Why do so many people insist we constantly talk at children?

Answer:  Try this little experiment, just for a moment: think back your earliest memories of day care, school, or home. What stands out for you? Was it toys, or places, or people?

For most, what we remember first and what makes the strongest impressions on our lives is our relationships with other people. And when we’re little, those relationships are built through lots of repeated interactions over time. Neuroscience research is revealing more all the time about how the brains of children are formed primarily in the first 2000 days of life, and how the vast majority of relational patterns – how easily we form bonds with others, how quick we are to trust, how well we can regulate our emotions – are formed in those early years too.

So that’s one reason to interact with young children as much as you can: you are literally building the parts of their brains that they will depend on all their lives to have strong, healthy relationships with others. Of course, their peers, families, and wider communities are doing that, too. You’re just one piece of the puzzle.

But you do have a unique role in the lives of children in your class. For however many hours a day they are in care, you are the most important grownup in their immediate environment. When you’re four years old, getting an important adult to give you sustained attention is pretty much the best thing ever, and something you will go to wild lengths to achieve (which can be why so many behavior problems arise when children are not getting enough attention).

By the time children are 4 or 5, they often can play together reasonably well, especially if there are enough materials and interesting activities. But you can still enhance their play, and teach them all kinds of things in the process. For example, if some of your kids are in dramatic play, go sit with them and listen to what “roles” they are playing, and suggest things they might be able to do or say in that role that they hadn’t thought of. Asking open-ended “why” questions to explore their thinking helps build language and reasoning skills.

For example, lots of kids like to use dramatic play to take care of babies, or take them to the “doctor.” Asking questions like “what’s the doctor going to do?” or “what is the baby sick with?” can stimulate more complex play scenarios. When they run out of ideas – because, after all, their life experience is pretty limited – you can suggest something else: “Why has the baby been throwing up? What do you think we should do to help her?”

Just sitting down with children and asking what they’re doing, no matter what materials they are playing with, tells them that they are valued, that their thoughts and actions are important to you, and also gives them a chance to practice explaining their activities and thoughts out loud. Saying “nice job!” to a child’s block building is nice, but much less effective in terms of developing their brains than asking “I’m curious why you put those big blocks there? Can you tell me about it?”

And chances are, you have enough kids in your room that you don’t have to worry that playing with them will keep them from learning to play independently or with their peers. There aren’t enough hours in the day to spend lots of extended time interacting with every child, every day. So join them as much as you can. It’s actually one of the perks of the job: you get to play too!